| Roland Stone Gathering no moss |
Ida Voider She walked in beauty like the night Beware her now she's such a fright |
Count Dracula May you always be in our hearts And may the stake always be in yours |
| A. O. Elle Connection terminated |
Here Lies Mr. I. B. Crisp Fixed the toaster with a knife Got the shock of his short life |
Here Lies John Yeast Pardon him for not rising |
| Here Lies Dear Old Randy A heck of a guy But now worm candy |
Here Lies The Pillsbury Dough Boy He will rise again |
Here Lies Billy Brown Lost at sea and never found |
| Here Lies Dearly Departed Bill He always lied and he always will He lied once to often Now he lies still |
Here Lies Ben His life was full Until he tried to milk a bull |
Here Lies Ned There is nothing more to be said Because we like to speak well of the dead |
| Here Lies My Sweet Sister She was just fine Til Dracula kissed her |
F. Yurn Vandal The Graveyard has cameras Alarms on the props Disturbing the contents Summons the cops |
Here Lies Mortimer Gissing His famous last words "I hear something hissing" |
| Here Lies Henry Blake Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake |
Here Lies Uncle Dave He chased a bear into a cave |
Here Lies Homer Pyle Just shouldn't have swam with that crocodile |
| Here Should Lie Jason Green Last seen here on Halloween |
Here Lies Winifred Wespert Wrongly Self-styled mushroom expert |
Here lies Samuel Smith What was that stuff he was fooling with? |
| Here Lies Fearsome Frank Who often bet he could rob a bank and bragged he never lost a bet.... Yet |
Here Lies Wilfred White His bulletproof vest wasn't quite |
Here Lies Kermit Smmot He almost learned how to parachute |
| Here Lies Jeffery Squattrum In skin diving class he came out at bottom |
Here Lies Jack Surrod His remains are buried beneath this sod |
Mary Mary Quitecontrary How does your garden grow Quite well I bet Since it's well fed By your body down below |
| Rest
in peace Cousin Huet We all know you didn't do it |
Here Lies Cousin Spence He took a leak on an electric fence |
Here Lies Thomas Kemp He lived by the sword And died by hemp |
| In Memory Of William Hawkins Gardener Planted here with love and care |
Owen Moore Gone away owin' more Than he could pay |
Here Lies Anne A. Theist All dressed up And no place to go |
| Ezekiel Pease Pease is not here Only his pod He shelled out his peas And went to his god |
Here Lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a forty-four No Les No More |
Here Lies Butch We planted him raw He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw |
| Here Lies Zeke Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek |
Here Lies Margaret Bent Kicked up her heels And away she went |
Here Lies Anna Hopewell Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go |
| Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer That is Strange |
Here Lies Pa Pa like women Ma caught Pa in with two swimin' Here lies Pa |
Here Lies My Wife I bid her goodbye She rests in peace Now so do I |
| Elvis Live with It |
Steve Erwin Crickey that hurt! |
Here Lies Walter Dudley He found out to late Dobermans aren't Cuddly |
| Mary Lass Missed the brake and hit the gas |
Mary Aster Should have J-walked a little faster |
Here Lies Ron D. Vous He met with death |
| Mary Jayne 1501 Took her first breath 1519 Stoned to death |
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